Cyber Harassment Survivor’s Kit – STORIES OF SURVIVORS
How Cyber-Harassment Ruined My Life
My period was a bit late, and I was fairly regular, so in the back of my mind I was a bit worried. I tried not to think about it until I was staring at the dreaded double lines on the pregnancy test stick I had grabbed from Watsons. The rest of the day was a blur – I could only remember calling J on my phone (who was supposedly in Singapore at the time) and just collapsing into a puddle of tears on the cold floor of my bathroom.
To cut a long story short, I decided not to carry on with the pregnancy. I told J it was because I was afraid of my conservative family (which was partially true), but it was actually because I didn’t trust him to be responsible for the baby. The whole episode was rather sobering for me, and shook me enough that I abandoned my sense of complacency about my relationship. Did I really want to have a child with this man? Sure, he was absolutely charming, but he was impulsive and (it broke my heart to admit this to myself) a compulsive liar.
J became quite cold after I terminated the pregnancy, but we kept up our ‘perfect couple’ facade for a couple of months. Maybe he sensed that I had my doubts about him, but I guess it wouldn’t have mattered in the end. I broke it off a couple of weeks shy of our one year anniversary. He threw a tantrum and we smashed a few things, but I was just glad to be done with him – or so I thought.
J started constantly messaging me on Facebook a couple of days after the break-up. He would constantly write long, heartfelt messages to me at 3am in the morning, talking about how he would “do anything” to get me back. I’m not going to say I wasn’t tempted to try to fix things, but I knew that it would just end badly again if we got back together. One night, I finally told him to stop messaging me, and I blocked him.
*Inspired by a real survivor’s account